Overheard at the mall: “She’s just gonna do it again! It always happens, so why should I go?” And, the reply: “Because you just have to!” (A conversation between two 30-something women that seemed to be about attending a family event.)
Well…… adults rarely “just have to!” More often, the story we tell ourselves is that we only have one choice, one path to take. And, we stay on that path, because other options seem way too risky, too challenging, too uncomfortable. And, we stay there because it’s human nature to take what seems to be the path of least resistance.
What I know from experience: doing something different, no matter how small, is empowering. Making decisions consciously feels so much better. And, just “doing” because that’s the way it’s always been – that can feel pretty awful.
Have you ever had the experience of “just saying no?” Deciding that you really don’t have to do what you’ve always done? Following the path that’s most nourishing – and least destructive (for you and others)?
Or, have you ever made a conscious choice to join your family, even when you’d really rather not? But, you’ve also made the choice that, this year, you’ll start out with a different attitude and new responses to the same old provocations?
Now is a good time to plan ahead for the holidays. Now is just the right time to prepare for that new path that can make those family visits less challenging and less stressful. And now is a great time to start rehearsing that new story you can tell yourself.
In a few days, I’ll be posting some examples of how to create and use those new stories. I’d also be interested in hearing from you about how you’ve survived those family visits by doing something different, telling yourself a different story, taking a different approach.
Would you like to share your experience, ask a question or request an appointment for a free phone consultation? I invite you to comment here, give me a call at 310 475-1759 or email me now, and I promise to respond within 24 hours.