HABITS I’VE DISCOVERED I REALLY DON’T NEED! AND – THOSE I WISH I HAD! How new habits can work to reduce your stress and anger.

When I started this blog, my plan was to write at least two posts each week! Well – a quick glance at my posts will quickly show that I’m not even close to achieving that habit. I’m definitely a work in progress when it comes to establishing certain new habits.

My life is ruled by my habits! So is yours – and the lives of everyone else you know! Just imagine a life without any habits. All those things we now do automatically would take so much longer if we had to pause to think about and recall each step. Simple acts like tooth-brushing, dressing, pouring coffee, even walking would all require extra planning and lots more thinking – if we even remembered to do them!

Luckily, you and I have most likely, over time, successfully collected enough habits to allow us to get the routine tasks of life out of the way pretty easily and usually without much thought. And – most of us have become quite skilled at acquiring those habits we enjoy. Anticipated pleasure is often enough of a trigger to remind us to repeat pleasurable activity. So – we eat that muffin mid-morning without much thought, we take that afternoon nap, and we sit next to a friendly co-worker at lunch – all without doing much planning or decision-making. And the more we repeat these activities, the more habitual they become.

If given the choice, some habits we’d choose to keep, some we’d prefer to just trash, and others we’d very much like to figure out how to get. Let’s take a look here at how you can acquire a new habit, in order to reduce your stress. But, be patient! It seems likely that it can take anywhere from 3 weeks to 6 months of repetition before we no longer need to think much about a new behavior.

Since I really like to write, doing so for this blog shouldn’t be so tough – right? Wrong! It’s not the writing that’s the challenge, it’s finding that space of time when I can concentrate on actually getting it done. So, if I were advising myself, here’s what I’d suggest:

1) Identify a very specific behavior you’d like to make into a habit. (For me – posting to this blog at least once a week.)

2) Break up that behavior into smaller parts. (I’d like my writing to include a commentary and at least 5 tips, but I’ll settle for a brief paragraph and know that the next post can contain the tips.)

Do you recognize, in yourself or others, that cycle of stress? Too much on your shoulders, ineffective communication about that stress, and anger when you feel that people just don’t understand. And the angrier you behave with those folks who matter the most, the less likely you are to be heard or to get help. If only you could identify the new habits that would help reduce the stress and, in turn, lessen your anger!