Probably all of these are very understandable responses to someone who just can’t take a hint. And they’d be fantastic responses – if they actually worked. But, most likely, nothing changes and you just get more annoyed and angry. And the cycle keeps on being repeated. As do your stress, frustration, and anger.
I’ve developed a 5-step response template that actually works – most of the time. Well…. it can work if you can actually calm down enough to use it. And you’ll be able to do that, if you practice first.
1) Make a wondering statement that is really a question:
I’m wondering why you’re so worried/concerned about this…… (said with real concern).
2) Validate concerns:
I do understand that you are worried/concerned about me …….. (tone of voice counts here!).
I’m really fine – and I can handle this. (Said with assurance and confidence.)
4) Express gratitude and reassure again:
Thank you so much for caring about me – but I really am fine.
5) Change the subject to something of interest to the other person:
“Did you hear the news about Aunt Sally?” Or something like that. (Again tone of voice and confident presentation count!)
There’s no guarantee that this 5-step approach will work the way you want it to. A lot depends on your ability to convince yourself that you really could mean it. It’s nice to have people concerned about you. It’s also terrible annoying when those same people invade your space with their concern.
If you try this approach, I’d love to hear from you. Was this helpful? A total bust? Or somewhere in between? Please let me know: give me a call at 310-475-1759 or email your thoughts to: email@example.com.