Help Me! or Not??
When I can’t do something, and I need help, I ask.
Sometimes I get the help; sometimes I don’t.
And sometimes, I get help – but not what I said I needed!
When I do need help…. it would be so nice
If the help I get is in line with the help I request.
And if I say, “that’s not what I need,”
I’d like to be believed.
When I have difficulty doing something, I might ask for help.
Or I might decide to power through and do it myself.
That’s my choice!
And I’d like my choice to be honored.
When I don’t need help, I still appreciate being asked.
But when I say, “no thanks,” I’d like to be believed.
And if I accept an offer of a little help,
I get to say, “thanks, but no more is needed.”
And I’d like to be believed.
I’ve found that the most exhausting part of getting help
Is explaining to others what’s needed….
And getting caught up in the argument of
“You need me to help you!” and “No, I don’t.”
The best helper is the person who is able to listen
To the other person and see through that person’s eyes.
And help in the way that is needed most.
The worst helper is the person who is able to listen,
But who sees through his or her own eyes…
And helps not how the other wants, but how he or she would want.
And it’s so very tiring to be constantly explaining
To the one who means so well,
But who gets it so wrong!
Take a look at this blog post, for the intro to this poem.
For copy and distribution
Karen Wulfson, LMFT